- Introduction
This Article explains several issues that are very important for any Animator who leads young children. These things will be very useful in a special way, the animators of the Holy Childhood Society, since the main purpose of clarifying these issues is to first strengthen the animator himself/herself, so that he/she can also build his/her ability to lead the group of children entrusted to him, whether in a parish , diocesan and or national level
- Avoiding Favoritism
An animator of the Holy Childhood Society who is elected or who volunteers to care for children, must remove the poison of favoritism from his/her heart. He/she should never show any sign of favoritism towards some children for his own personal reasons of interest or resentment. Animator should remember that children find great comfort when they are given equal love without excluding them and making others the companions of the group. It should be remembered that in any place, be it at home, school or church, children cannot receive what they are told if the one who guides them has a preferential attitude towards some other children.
For example, at various conferences, whether national, regional or parish, animator should not have the attitude of looking only at his own child if he/she is present or from the area where he appeared and thinking that the others do not concern him. No way! By doing so, he will create a separation between the children who actually build unity while attending those lectures. The guardian’s role is to unite all the children from each area with those from his own so long as he looks after their safety, and it should not be a criterion for excluding children. Let us love all children and if it happens that children from other areas have mixed with ours, especially at mealtimes out of ignorance, let us not chase them away with sad words but rather direct them well to where they should get food/drink so that they can enjoy participating in those events again. Let us avoid words like: “this is not our Parish… go to your parish… or leave and go to your parish…” such words cause a psychological problem for the child and make him feel worthless in that group and make him not want to come to another Holy Childhood conference again. If it becomes a habit to face that situation every time, he will never be seen again in the
Holy Childhood and in the Church either.
In the whole matter of giving gifts, the animator should be very careful so that this act is constructive and not destructive. For example, when the Guardian asks questions and the child tries, he should not give him a gift but give it to all equally or as planned, without creating a situation of favoritism, something that will make children not come to church. In workshops or diocesan or Parish conferences, gifts should be given at least in rotation and not as gifts aimed at only one group. Even those who come and try should be given gifts to make them come again to the Conference or so. We must think that, some parishes are far away and so the children strive to reach even three or fewer and competing is difficult for them, those with what they have prepared should be given gifts and will attract more children to come to the Holy Childhood conferences.
Therefore, we animators must ensure that we do not show favoritism when we have children and then we will make them see that the Church is for them and needs them to move forward. We will also make them want to come to the Church where it is their home, and they will say the words of the Child Jesus “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:49. That will be their desire to stay in their Church.
If animator has this defect of favoritism and feels that he/she cannot get rid of it, it is better for him/her to tell the church that he cannot continue with the work of raising these missionaries so that he does not hinder the church of tomorrow with his disgusting behavior. The Holy Scriptures say that whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, let a stone be hung around his neck and thrown into the sea (Reference Mt 18:1-20). Let us get rid of this tendency towards favoritism that is evident in some guardians, because in order for our offering of raising children to be pure and pleasing to God, we need to truly dedicate ourselves and not pretend to do God’s work.
- Staying with children
The animator of the Holy Childhood occupies the position of a parent at home and also as a guardian for the child. Therefore, he must always be close to the children during worship and Holy Masses for children alone or those with adults. By staying close to them, he will be able to follow them and direct them in how to follow the liturgy with words and actions, while doing all this with a motherly or fatherly heart when the child or children make mistakes. In addition, it is in staying with the children that the guardian will be able to know their negative or positive changes as he continues to raise them in the faith.
When the animator leaves the children alone, he cannot recognize the behavior of the children and he/she cannot correct them. That is to say, a guardian who stays away from the children cannot be a guardian, or he/she will have to correct himself. It is in staying close to the children, they can explain the things that bother them and even what they encounter at home, at school and in various places. Similarly, in staying with children, the caregiver will be more aware of the strengths of the group he has and the weaknesses of his children’s group, and thus provide information at the relevant level.
When the animator stays with children, it is good to also strive to remember their names because for them it is valuable to see them recognized among their peers. It would be strange to fail to recognize the names of the children the caregiver is raising, if there are too many then it does not matter if he seeks any identity as long as the child does not feel bad that he is unknown. It is clear that it is in staying close to the children and also getting to know them that we will help them easily and they will love us. It is in this way, they will even like to come to Church because they taste the love from their caregivers, and if there is a vacation time in schools they will be able to come to share various things that concern themselves.
So, caregivers and even parents should be filled with joy when we stay close to the children and see how they carry out the instructions given to them. By doing so, children will be filled with joy and will not wander outside the church because everything they want is inside the church.
- Animators should be pious and have good character to emulate
Since animators have a great responsibility to make children turn to God, it would be a good thing to evaluate their lives first before leading this group of children on the path of following God. In evaluating themselves first, they will be able to change certain behaviors and behaviors that may cause obstacles to children, because they learn by seeing what their elders do. That is to say, if the guardian is a good pious person and has good character, the children will imitate the behavior of their guardian and vice versa.
For example, in attending various services or Holy Masses, the animators must be the first so that when the children meet him or when he encourages them, they can imitate his example. Likewise, if a guardian has a habit of speaking bad words to his or her peers and even to children, it is best to avoid it because children can imitate it and make it their normal language, which is not appropriate.
It should be noted that, in general, the behavior of a Animators should be imitated inside and outside the church because guardianship for a child is not only when he or she is a child but also becomes an example for his or her life even when he or she is an adult. Therefore, the guardian must avoid a life of acting when he or she is in church and then when he or she leaves, he or she lives another life that is not in line with his or her calling as a Baptized person and guardian of the Holy Childhood.
Recognizing that raising children is a gift and not everyone can do it, it is a call for spiritual leaders in the Parish to choose believers who have strong faith and good character. No one should be appointed as a guardian for reasons that are outside the guardianship of children and take it as a certain position, no. If the selection is done well, children will be attracted to church because of the character of their guardians and also the church that comes will have strong Christians who adhere to the values and firm faith of the Catholic Church.
- Parents should learn to recognize children’s talents
A parent does not just know the characteristics of their children but goes a long way to learn and understand their children’s talents, so that they can use them well when they are together. For example, an important way to recognize children’s talent/talents is to be close to them and see how they relate to their peers and their actions. That is how the parent will recognize what the child prefers outside and inside the church.
In addition, it is important to understand that children with various talents need to be motivated, awakened or stimulated by their parents so that they can use them properly.
Therefore, the parent has a great responsibility to recognize the talent of each child. For example, there are children who like to read the Bible and memorize verses, sing religious songs, lead prayers, dance in the choir, join their peers in activities, play the piano, give speeches in front of people, mediators, aid providers, religious actors, etc. The guardian should recognize all of these and strengthen these talents by using the children in missionary activities for the benefit of the church. It should be remembered that developing the talents of children in the church does not mean eliminating other worldly talents, because our children do not live outside the world but are in a world surrounded by many things and therefore there are worldly talents that children should also show.
The failure of the animator to understand the child’s talent makes the child feel isolated from his or her peers. This situation causes poor attendance by children in their meetings, and that is when they go to other denominations. We animators should read the signs of the times, because these days there are many denominations that are specifically looking to capture a group of children so if we have not recognized their talents, it is a loss because they are considered as chicks that lack protection from their guardians.
- Relationships between animators and church leadership
In order for the Animator of the Holy Childhood to be successful in his or her mission, he or she is required to be obedient to the church leaders. At the diocesan level, the local Bishop is the supreme leader and those he has appointed on his behalf in the organization of the Holy Childhood and in our parishes are the parishioners. Thus, the guardian, having cooperation with these leaders, will bring success as he will share with them various issues that need to be done or resolved in order to make the mission move forward.
Thus, when the Animator builds close relationships with church leaders, he becomes a bridge connecting children with the church leadership as he will remind the Priests to deal with children in teaching, Holy Mass, upbringing and parish strategic plans regarding the children’s community. He will also take instructions from them and guide the children where they are needed according to the guidelines of the Church.
Therefore, the animator should consider the instructions from the church leadership and make the children recognize the desires of the church so that when they meet children from other parishes or other provinces, they feel equal to their fellow children without feeling inferior. On the other hand, it will help the children to know the Catholic Church in depth, love it and serve it with all their hearts.
- The animator should build good relationships with the parents of the children
To help the child grow spiritually and physically, the guardian should realize that he is the parent of the children of the Holy Childhood. He should also realize that he stands in the place of the parents of the children whenever he is with those children. Therefore, it is important for him to build a relationship with the parents or animators of each child in order to be able to know the condition of the children in terms of personal, spiritual and behavioral upbringing. For example, he will help the parents in finding a good method of raising children according to the signs of the times.
Considering that there are groups of parents, for example; parents who are responsible for their children and ensure that they grow spiritually and those who are negligent in raising their children, the animators, collaborating with parents of both types, can be a catalyst to remind parents of their responsibility to raise children in the divine values and of the Catholic Church.
A good relationship between the guardian of the Holy Childhood and the parents or guardians of the children, brings great benefits to the church as it brings and returns children who only stay at home and become Catholics in name. It also helps parents remember their basic responsibility for the good upbringing of their children, namely to give them a Catholic education.
- Animators should consider knowing the conditions of the Children
The Animators of the Holy Childhood should know the real conditions of the children he leads; psychologically, spiritually, physically and mentally. The guardian, for example, should have the habit of questioning or talking to his children to know whether they are happy or peaceful of spirit? Is the child mentally well developed? Is he psychologically okay or does he have problems? Does the family get enough needs or sometimes does he lack basic needs such as food, shelter and clothing? All of these are important for the guardian to consider so that he knows what kind of life situation he is raising the children in. By considering this, the guardian will be able to deal with the different conditions of the children while treating them spiritually, physically and psychologically in his work, although he will not be able to fulfill everything in their situations but it will help him at least to deal with them without arguing with them because he will already have understood what situations they are in.
- Parents should talk about the issue of protection and safety for children
The time has come to remove the shame and talk to children about their protection and safety as there is a big cloud that has arisen regarding the lack of protection and safety for children. Parents should explain to children the current situation while using knowledge in their explanations so as not to threaten children but to make them understand the current situation. Make it clear to children that they should not allow anyone, even a brother, sister, father, uncle, cousin, home servants, to play with their bodies, especially their private parts. Parents should tell children that, when they encounter people with such behavior, they should report it to their parents or guardians so that the behavior can be stopped. Children should also be prohibited from receiving gifts from people and told not to talk about what is being done to them at home. This is how we will be able to save children from this cruelty that destroys their dignity. You, the animator, will achieve all of this if you are close to the entire group of children entrusted to you (without bias), as the child cannot reveal himself to you if he/she does not see you. His animator is his close friend who can explain to you the details of these serious issues, considering that they are told not to speak.
Prepared By: Sr Anagladness Mrumah, National Holy Childhood Secretary